Running Tales # 4: Happiness
Coming home from a morning run, I noticed that one of the bulbs of the ceiling light fixture was busted. Using a chair would not do so had I to move some furniture around and used a desk to stand on for the proper height and leverage.
So I began the daunting to task of changing a simple light bulb. I dismantled the ceiling light cover, took the new bulb from out of its box and replaced the busted bulb, installed back the light cover. When done, I moved back the furniture to its original spot. All in all, this took a good 10 minutes.
When i finally switch the light back on, i stared at the ceiling lamp for a few minutes and realized the shade of white of the bulbs were different. Warm and Daylight.
And for some reason thats when it hit me again "I'm alone".
The first time it hit me was just last month as I was taking a shower I accidentally banged my head on the faucet. For a second I was a bit disoriented and even saw stars. If, God forbid, I should slip and crack my head on the floor and died, I suspect nobody would know until after a couple of days where they would find me cold and naked on the bathroom floor under running water.
Being alone, for me is not normal. I equate being alone with loneliness. The sad part of being alone is waking up early in the morning and the first thing you reach is your cellphone to read your sms messages with your stale saliva because you had nobody to talk to the night before.
They say that "happiness is a choice" and I agree with this totally . So maybe today I will start looking for my happiness wherever it may be because I feel I deserve it. Everyone does.
I sure wouldn't want to be sitting in a rocking chair maybe on a beach somewhere and looking at the view alone. I would rather be sitting on a rocking chair in a beach somewhere and sharing the view with someone and having a pleasant conversation.
So before I can
Change has to start somewhere maybe its now.....